Arrest of Leader of Al-Gebra Movement

For Immediate Release
October 17 , 2006

Washington D.C.
FBI National Press Office
(202) 324-3691

Director Mueller Announces Arrest of Leader of Al-Gebra Movement

FBI Director Robert S. Mueller, III, today announced the arrest of a man alleged to be the leader of the Al-Gebra Movement.

The man, who has not been identified, worked as a public school teacher and was arrested at JFK airport as he attempted to board a flight.

He was found to have in his possession a ruler, protractor, set square, slide rule, and a calculator, items clearly identifying the man's involvement with Al-Gebra. He has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," Director Mueller said.

"It desires solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes it goes off on tangents in a search of absolute values.

"It uses secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to itself as 'unknown' but we have determined that the organisation belongs to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ' There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "

When President Bush was informed of the arrest, he said, "If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

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For more kitty thoughts, check out Camilla and think well wishes for her.

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My human came home from work an hour earlier today. I thought that meant an early dinner, but no. My human had to cook the chicken legs first. So I had to wait. How rude and disorganised.