Tuesday, March 15, 2005

26 MILLION DOLLARS!

I am doing something very unusual which is to write TWO blog entries in one day (scroll down for my earlier diary entry today) . I received some spam in my email, and I thought I would share with you my proposed response (not that I would bother replying to the email).

Dear Mr Paul Komoni

Thank you for your email offering me 25 percent of USD 26 million. I cannot meet you face to face. I am a cat - I do not travel with a passport, but in cargo!

I am appalled by your greed. It is people like you that keep the people of Africa in perpetual poverty, if indeed this money exists.

Your fellow Africans are dying of malnutrition and AIDS. The sort of greed which you are exhibiting is one of the reasons why many African countries will never get out of the basket case economies that they are in. Corruption, nepotism and incompetence are problems which need to be addressed.

If indeed you do have USD 26 million, I suggest you find some way to put it towards programs that will help your people, and not yourself.

Because Mr. Ben Andreas died without a will (intestate), according to the laws in most countries, this money will be claimed by the government. I am sure the government of the Republic of South Africa can spend this money on health and education programs.

Your sincerely

Keiser Cat
(I am a genuine cat - Felis catus. I do not have a bank account. My human caters to my needs)

****************************************************************

To: keisercat@wildmail.com
Subject: Confidential Transaction!!
From: MR PAUL KOMONI
Date: Mon, Mar 14 2005 7:43:31 PM -0800

FROM:MR.PAUL KOMONI
TEL:27-73-597-24-22
EMAIL:prekomoni_2@hotmail.com

ATTN: DIRECTOR/CEO.

REQUEST FOR URGENT TRANSFER

In my quest for a reliable and trusted partner for a highly important and lucrative venture cum investment, I came across your contact as a reliable partner for this venture.

I am Mr. PAUL KOMONI, one of the senior Accountants of AMALGAMATED BANK OF SOUTH AFRICA (ABSA). To highlight you on this proposal, there is an account opened in this bank since 1980 till 1990 after which, nobody has operated on this account again till date. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not remit this money out urgently it would be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account is Mr. Ben Andreas, a foreigner, and a miner at Kruger gold co., a geologist by profession who died since 1990. No other person knows about this and my investigation further proved to me that his company does not know anything about this account and the amount involved as he made it his personal account. The money outstanding before his death was (USD 26 Million) Twenty Six Million United States Dollars.

I am now contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a national with a local bank account here. But can only be approved to any foreign account because the money is in US dollars and the former owner, a foreigner. I implore you to act as foreigner and beneficiary to the fund as I will then intimate you on the processes abound as well as procure all the necessary documents required to lay claim to the money.

If you are capable and willing to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to my instructions and advice for our mutual benefit I shall highly appreciate. I need trusted person in this business because I do not want to make mistakes; I need your strong assurance and trust. With my position now in the office I can effect transfer of this money to any foreigner's reliable account, which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my arrival in your country for disbursement. On the alternative, you can come down here to South frica for us to meet one to one.

Send me your private telephone and fax numbers upon receipt of this proposal, if you genuinely want to assist and be a co-partner. I will also wants us to meet face to face, to enable us sign a binding agreement.As soon as you receive this money into a foreign account or any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. I will proceed to your country for onward percentage distributions and investment. I need your full co-operation to make this work because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner, who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you later immediately.I will use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance forms of the ministries and foreign exchange departments. At the conclusion of this business, for your assistance, 25% of the total amount will be accrue for you, 70% for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of the transfer.

I implore you to maintain the absolute confidentiality of this transaction.You can contact me with prekomoni_2@hotmail.com and phone number +27735972422.

Your earliest response is urgently awaited.

Truely Yours,
Mr.PAUL KOMONI.

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